LIFEBOOK…ONE ‘TIP’ AT A TIME!

EASIER ‘DONE’ THAN ‘SAID’!

Closures. They are extremely crucial phases in every human’s life, which demand to be felt and which need to be achieved. Many a times, things happen, which are contradictory to our liking and which are, to a big extent, disruptive for our lives. We either need to try sort them out or, in many cases, get a closure and ‘move on’. But the only confusion, which revolves around this among many, is, that we seek to achieve closures ‘from’ other people. We feel that we need to ‘clear’ out things and sort out things with the person concerned in order to achieve a closure. And when we don’t get that person to cooperate enough, we tend to lose ourselves in a whirlwind of endless & excessive pondering, cursing & doubting ourselves, sulking and blaming the other person. The vital point what we all tend to forget is that we need no one to end a chapter and move on in our lives. By trying and dealing with the situations ourselves, no matter how complicated they are, we get a very easy way to get closure on things, on people and on situations. It’s not that hard. It’s not impossible. But there is a way, a mechanism we need to adopt, which is, in a nutshell, a complete cleanse of the mind and thoughts. Our thought process needs to alter in a way, that we start seeing life in a very different light. And to reach to that point, the very first step we need to take is, to STOP BLAMING AND BELITTLING OURSELVES. 

Usually, when a relationship, be it on a personal or professional level, doesn’t work out and we think too highly of the other person (or party), we tend to revert back on blaming and doubting ourselves. We are in a way, forced to think that something is wrong with us and there is something lacking in us. Maybe, we aren’t ‘good’ enough. This is where we lose half the battle instead of winning it. To get a closure and to move on positively, without keeping a piece of that situation buried deep within us, we need to maintain our self-confidence. But instead, as we are so lost in that condition, we do the complete opposite and demean ourselves. We start doubting and finding faults within ourselves, even though our mind clearly knows that the other person did us wrong. Wrong. Wrong in our eyes and maybe in the worlds’, but maybe right in the doer’s eyes. At this point, when we have decided to move on, we aren’t judging what’s right or wrong. What we need to focus on is how we can get a closure and carry on with our lives, without overloading our minds with burdens of the past. What has happened has happened. What will happen will happen. There is literally nothing we can do to change that. What we can do, for our inner peace and balance of mind, is detach our present from the mess created around. 

The moment we realize our worth, our confidence jumps right back in to carry us into the brighter side of the chaos. We need to understand the fact, that NO ONE has the right to make us feel small and make us lose our self-confidence. In plain words, no one is worthy enough to whom we should lose ourselves to, to the extent where we lose our identity and doubt our entire being. You had a life before that person, and you will have a life after. God willing, an even better life. Our worth and our view of ourself makes us who we are. Our thought about ourself is the most important feedback we need to follow on in life. Imagine, if we ourself belittle ourselves, how could we possibly expect another being to respect and treat us well? The moment we display our weak side to the outside world, we make ourselves completely vulnerable to the impending atrocities and demeanors the world can throw at us. Here instead of achieving a closure on the first scenario, we make ourselves susceptible to another set of demeaning acts by the world. So the very first stride towards the closure we are desperately searching for is to maintain our confidence and to become our own support system. In this way, the shield we create supports us throughout the process and helps us to settle down from the troublesome state.

Think about it, you owe it to yourself.

To be continued…